Keeley Hazell

After winning The Sun's Page 3 Idol contest way back in December 2004 (High-five, Ja Rule!), Keeley Hazell promptly took the nation by storm. Keeley is so pretty she became a source of national pride, so much so that when an American man made an off- hand comment about her in April 2006, it nearly started WWIII. Tony Blair was apparently overheard saying, by someone who was unavailable to comment, ‘I swear Cherie, if he says something like that about Keeley again, I’m doing a five-stretch.’ Such is the devotion to our Keeley.

Few glamour models from topless Page 3 beginnings have achieved levels of fame anywhere near Keeley Hazell. She even released a single called 'Voyeur' in 2008, while search engine Bing listed her as the 16th most searched for person in the UK in 2009; no doubt the words 'topless', 'boobs' and 'breasts' accompany her name in almost every search, but we’re not here to discuss semantics. While she has refused to pose in Playboy, a certain sex tape featuring Keeley and then boyfriend Lloyd Miller was leaked to perhaps the most eager, but guilty audience of all time back in 2007.

Keeley Hazell’s fantastic assets have landed her no fewer than four FHM cover shoots, and she's been a fixture in the top five of FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World - although (surprisingly) she's never clinched the title. She could perhaps lay claim to the Sexiest Woman Never to Have Won, but time is certainly on her side.

If you’re sat there thinking this is all very well, but where the hell is she? Then we have two words for you - Hollywood. Keeley Hazell has gone to America! To act and be a star, and she’s doing it! Shes appeared in real life actual films such as Like Crazy, Whispers and Awful Nice. We’re super pleased for her, but if some slimy showbiz agent thinks he can take advantage of her, we’ll be on him like a spooked chimpanzee.

Mila Kunis

Her cartoon alter ego, the unforgivably annoying Meg from Family Guy, might be as attractive as a brick to the face, but the real deal is definitely, 100%, very, very hot. Worshipped by her legions of adoring That 70s Show fans, Kunis has more geeks shivering in desire than Princess Leia in a bikini. And after her appearance as “complimentary hot girl” in 2008’s film-noir-meets-the-matrix Max Payne, based on the computer game of the same name, her star has continued to rocket skywards.

There was Forgetting Sarah Marshall which included a topless scene, albeit one in a photo, in the film. And then there was Friend with Benefits with Justin Timberlake, which was a film about two outrageously attractive New Yorkers who star having sex. Some of the scenes are quite graphic according to some people, but we’ll have to take their word for it as we watched it on a plane, so they cut out all the rudies. We did however see Black Swan which is very rude, and also really mad. But it's great in a 'you'll never look at the swans in the park the same way again' kinda way.

A geek of the rarest order, Kunis also enjoys the absurdly complex and involved World Of Warcraft, the MMORPG du jour. Kunis has not released the details of what server she plays on, but she has said that she is with her close friends in the Alliance…

She also plays board games, enjoys murder mystery tours, speaks Russian, is witty, intelligent, self-effacing, private talented and her eyes are like windows into the very fabric of the universe. Stare to long and you are like to never return. How can you look upon another human when you have experience perfection? Woah, that sounded a bit mental. We’ve probably popped up on some list now…Soz Mila.